FAQ

Q: How long can I keep a bag of SlantShack Jerky?

A: We recommend consumption within one month, though we doubt it will last that long.

Q: How is jerky made?

A: We'd be insane to tell you...

Step 1: Thinly slice beef. Step 2: Marinate beef in Top Secret SSJ Marinades for a top secret amount of time. Step 3: Cook beef slices in top secret grade dehydrator oven (keep the oven vents closed and the temperature set to SECRET for the first SECRET hours, then open the vents, and continue to cook at SECRET degrees for another SUPER SECRET hours). Remove from oven, glaze (as desired), apply spice rub (as desired), and add additional toppings [as desired]. Jerky has never been so simple.

Q: What kind of beef do you use?

A: We offer two kinds of beef: grass-fed beef from Vermont Highland Cattle and simple USDA choice. We like to give our customers options, in case you couldn't tell.

Q: I have allergies.
A: Oh so you have allergies, do you? Well, you should be careful. Our jerky has SOY and WHEAT, and quite a few spices as well. Click here for a full list of ingredients found in our jerky.

Q: What exactly goes on in the SlantShack Experimental Laboratories?

A: One of the primary missions of SlantLabs is to discover bold, adventurous flavors, as well as coming up with innovative, alternative ways to use and/or eat jerky. It's run by our executive chef and her borderline schizophrenic lab assistant.

Q: First word that pops into your head?

A: Climax

Q: Yours or mine?

A: Mine (meaning yours)

Q: Haven’t I seen you guys somewhere?

A: Maybe you should just mind your own business...

Sorry about that. You may have seen us at the Greenpoint Food Market in Brooklyn! WHAT UP JOANN!

Q: Will you go out with me?

A: One of us will definitely go out with you.

Q: You guys seem like connoisseurs. Do you recommend pairing jerky with any other foods?

A: Yes. Our jerky can be used on a variety of ways. Try it on salads, on crackers with a nice cheese, with nuts and fruit,

Q: I ordered my jerky two weeks ago, and I’m starving. Where the hell is it?

A: Patience my pet. As each order is hand-crafted to your liking, it may some time. If you are truly concerned that your order has been forgotten or misplaced or eaten, please contact us at jerkme@slantshackjerky.com

Q: Will my girlfriend like jerky?

A: Everybody likes jerky. If she doesn't, we've got plenty of fine female customers we can hook you up with who aren't prude.

Q: Will my parents/grandparents like jerky?

A: This all depends on the state of their teeth/dentures. Jerky does require some chewing, and some elderly may be too haunted by their dentist’s orders to enjoy. Oh well, more for you!

Q: Who is Jerk McGurk?

A: Jerk McGurk is the patron saint of the SlantShack. He has ensured the relative structural integrity of the Shack for three years while its inhabitants perfected 21st century jerky.

Q: Who is Smokey Sanche?

A: Jerk McGurk's and SlantShack's greatest friend. He passed away in the summer of ’09.