Local Jerky Company Poised to Provide NYC Hurricane Relief

NEW YORK — SlantShack Jerky LLC has reportedly started producing what they are calling “surge blockers”, or large sheets of ultra-dehydrated beef-jerky designed to absorb up to 8x their dry volume of water.  When laid on the ground in long chains, much like the traditional sandbag walls typically used to prevent flooding, these surge blockers can theoretically absorb up to 300 gallons of water per foot before becoming fully saturdated, which is the equivalent of reducing a typical 10′ storm surge to about 2′.  It is unclear where the funding for this project, which is expected to cost roughly $14 million, is coming from, as neither the NYC Office of Emergency Management nor the Federal Emergency Management Agency has given any funding to the previously little-known company.  Officials at the SlantShack Jerky Experimental Laboratories have remained extremely tight-lipped and cryptic about this aspect of the project, saying only “we’ve been saving up for a rainy day.”

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