Author Archives: slantshackjerky

Christmas Disaster – 2010

There are many reasons to be thankful this holiday season. Stockings, for instance. Reindeer, in all their furry delicious glory. Other things: Islam, Christianity, and Judaism. And then of course there are the presents. We adults know the holidays are … Continue reading

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The Tears Mean It’s Working!

You may have heard in the news that the world has finally recognized a long-disenfranchised group: companies. They’re people, you know. You probably don’t know, cause you don’t own one. Well we do, and they are. They can vote, they … Continue reading

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No Country for an East Coast Lab Technician

We are pleased to report the result of last week’s experiment: inconclusive but still fairly enlightening. One of our lucky SlantShack experimental lab technicians got a round trip ticket to the heart of the smoldering, desiccated landscape known as Arizona. … Continue reading

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Local Jerky Company Poised to Provide NYC Hurricane Relief

NEW YORK — SlantShack Jerky LLC has reportedly started producing what they are calling “surge blockers”, or large sheets of ultra-dehydrated beef-jerky designed to absorb up to 8x their dry volume of water.  When laid on the ground in long … Continue reading

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Introducing SlantShack Haberdashery

Introducing SlantShack Haberdashery – the Finest in beef jerky fashion accessories. We’ve spent years scouring the globe in our search to find examples of the finest and most unique jerkywear our there. In some cases, we’re able to offer you … Continue reading

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SSJ in Gentleman’s Quarterly

Did you catch SlantShack Jerky in the August issue of GQ?  On page 42, right next to McClure’s Pickles and a bunch of other “Apocalypse Pantry” staples. We understand if you missed it on your way to the Mila Kunis … Continue reading

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…when you pry it from my cold, dead hands.

It has come to our attention that the anti-meat facists have taken it a step too far, banning paying patrons from bringing meat into performance venues, and even going so far as to have hired security mercenaries screen them like … Continue reading

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Ladies, Your Soul Meat

The future is now. Forget Cupid. Forget Match. SlantShack’s proprietary technology not only allows the possibility of infinite customization, but the ability to obsess over what that obsession you’re stalking is customizing. That’s right, soon to emerge from the SlantShack … Continue reading

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We’re Huge in Japan

SlantShack Jerky was recently featured in the Japanese food magazine PECOPECO!  Check out the article online here.  And for those of you whose Japanese is a little rusty, we’ve pasted a translation below (courtesy of Google Translate). SlantShack Jerky This … Continue reading

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Update: Sanche On The Move

In a striking update from the world of SlantShack, Smokey Sanche, the disgruntled spice-rub incarnate,  has abandoned the jerky factory in Orleans, VT, to “road-trip it” “home” for cinqo de “mayo”. As tonight’s press secretary for SlantShack, it is this … Continue reading

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