Jerky was there...

November 9th, 1989

East Berlin

Cyborg Hitler has amassed a small army of undead Nazi werewolves on the East side of the Berlin wall, and is preparing to launch a worldwide assault using millions of Zombie Nazi soldiers that were buried around the world in the past (time travel was involved, but we won't get into details/logistics).

Directly to the the other side of the wall, a small band of about 200 motorcycle-riding Apache Braves are perched on a hilltop looking towards the wall, . Leading them is a fire-engine-red Dodge Charger Monster Truck, with a big "01" painted on the side, driven by Abraham Lincoln, with Mr. T manning the mounted flame thrower in the back, sitting on a crate of SlantShack Jerky.

Were it not for the 80 lbs of Jerk McGurks Wild Rubdown that Fate had also throw into this alternate universe, Lincoln might not have been able to forge the Union between the braves, and Cyborg Hitler's plan would have gone off without a hitch....

Lincoln looks back and momentarily locks eyes with T, they both nod, as Lincoln says "Let's ride."

Just before Lincoln guns the engine, T shoots a burst of flame into the air, and shouts to the braves, "KILL THOSE SUCKAS!"

200 wild, raging engines are set loose, and ROAR to life, tearing down the hill towards the wall, just a few hundred feet down.

Cyborg Hitler is in the middle of his speech, when he pauses, hearing a low, distant rumble that's getting more and more powerful. He hears a horn, playing a bar from Dixie (the telltale horn of the General Lee). Suddenly, the wall behind him explodes in a storm of fire and shattered concrete, followed immediately by a shower of silver-tipped arrows from the mounted Braves. Struck with several arrows, Cyborg Hitler falls on his back, and looks up to see the undercarriage of an airborne monster truck getting larger and larger just before it lands on him and crushes him.

Were it not for the 80 lbs of Jerk McGurks Wild Rubdown that Fate had also throw into this alternate universe, Lincoln might not have been able to forge the Union between the braves, and Cyborg Hitler's plan would have gone off without a hitch....

But instead, generations of free children will know the story of how the world was saved from destruction, because SlantShack Jerky was there....